I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize