I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
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i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
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If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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