Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize