ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize