but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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