At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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