the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize