I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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