I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
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Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
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I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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