Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize