He is an equal opportunity slut.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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