you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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