How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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