If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize