I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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