just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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