Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize