duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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