I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize