It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize