your parents love me but you hate me
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
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did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
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They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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