just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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