I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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