Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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