Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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