Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
she smelled like a LAN party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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