I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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