Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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