I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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