I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
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i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
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The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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