Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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