you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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