Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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