It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize