yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
where am i from again
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Randomize