i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
So much Jack, so little girl.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize