I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
being pregnant is like rehab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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