apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
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Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
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