it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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