I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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