I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
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The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
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Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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