hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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