I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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