Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
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