we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize