they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize