Soap is not a condiment
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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