turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
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planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
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came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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