under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's paint friendship bongs
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize