I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize